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The current situation at my workplace has me counting down the days until my vacation, or rather, my trip out to TX for my brother’s graduation from AF Basic Training. I keep telling myself to hang in there, it’s coming soon.

It’s getting harder and harder to keep my head above the water these days. By the end of the day, I’m so weary. Weary of trying and feeling as though I fail at making things work, fail at being a good witness to my co-workers. It’s easy to control my tongue and my irritability when work doesn’t feel like it’s chaos without an end in sight – it isn’t quite so easy when everything continues to go wrong. It’s easy to trust God that it’s all going to be okay and that He’s in control when I don’t feel as though things are out of control – it’s harder right now. And it’s hard for me to depend on Him for patience and grace. I don’t like being dependent for things like that, you see. I like being my own woman and doing it by myself. Oh well. Lesson being learning again. I do wish learning trust and patience didn’t require stress at every turn…

Anyhow, I’m doing the only think I can right now. I just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming… Maybe it would help if I actually knew how to swim without being scared stiff I’m going to drown? (For realz – I don’t know how to swim very well at all!)

Still, it’s not going to last forever. In the grand scheme of things, the last several months, the last particularly difficult few weeks, all of it – it’s just a small turn in the road. It’ll be over before I know it and this stretch of the road will be marked behind me in my journal road-map. I’m keeping that in mind these days as I take a deep breath and plunge back into the whirlpool of paperwork, rogue invoices, system errors and cranky phone calls from customers. It won’t last forever.

And in the meantime, I’ll keep praying and plugging away.

But I’m still counting down the days to vacation just the same. 😉

PS – I truly feel like Dory in Finding Nemo these days. And not just because I’m trying to “just keep swimming.” Short term memory loss? I HAZ IT.

Co-worker: “What time did you get out of here last night?”
Me: “What time…?”
Co-worker: “You were still here when I left!”
Me: “I was? OH, I was…I’m not sure what time I left. I HONESTLY CAN’T REMEMBER.” *freaks*

Great. I not only have found my first grey hair (true story, dat!), but I’ve also started losing my short-term memory. Nice to know that’s what happens when you hit your mid-twenties!