, , ,

It’s been weeks since I last blogged. Honestly, I have to blame it one…thank-you notes. Most of my writing time has been occupied with that wedding duty. 🙂 It’s not a bad thing – thank-yous are important! – but it does take up time. I have written some personal journal entries elsewhere, but something fit for this blog? Not really…

The weeks have flown by and we’re down to the final crunch. My to-do list feels overwhelming, but it’s shrinking with every day, so I think it might be nerves and stress?

The big move into the apartment was today. Last night I wrote…

Is it okay that as I found myself sneezing over dust in my room today, watching my earthly belongings – flute case, mounds of clothes, photographs under glass, rows of books and myriads of things that definitely belong under a sharpie-written misc. – disappear into boxes, is it okay that I find my heart do a funny leap as I realize that my world as I know it is changing dramatically? My eyes burn for a minute and it’s not just allergies tonight.

I don’t like change, overall, it’s just not in my personality to embrace change with abandon, and as much as I want this change, it scares me at the same time and I’m tempted to hide in the blankets on my bed like an ostrich and watch episodes of Burn Notice, just to forget the lists that keep running through my head.

The list of things that won’t be and the list of things that will be after May 1st.

Today I:

– am unmarried
– live with my parents, siblings and (as I discover tonight) an army of dust bunnies
– reside in a largish town and have a short commute to work every weekday
– rarely cook dinner on a consistent daily basis, much less make menus or go grocery shopping every week
– have my own bank account
– can run down to the basement whenever I need to wash clothes
– have the name I was given as a baby
– live in a house

Next week, I will:

– be married!
– live in a tiny town with a significantly longer commute to work every weekday
– get to manage a home for two: cooking, cleaning and a million and one other things for two people
– be living with one man (no dust bunny army yet)
– reside in an apartment
– have a new name
– have to drive 20 minutes to the laundromat to do the laundry
– share an account with a husband

And on and on it goes.

It kind of freaks me out…but at the same time, I’m excited. Because, my life is going to change, but for a really great reason: I’m marrying the man I love.

Seven days…!