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I have a bad history with nail injuries, apparently. Fingernail, toenail, doesn’t matter. I’m a klutz when it comes to both. I once smashed my thumb nail in a car door – we were on our way to a swing dance, so I toughed it out and went dancing anyway. Wouldn’t recommend it, talk about PAIN if your partner grabs your hand a certain way! I also smashed my big toe this summer while putting together a desk chair for our home office area. As with my thumb nail, I lost the toe nail in the end.

Subungual hematoma! PAINFUL.

And then this week, I added another klutzy moment to the list.

Opening scene: first thing in the morning at work, I sit at my desk surrounded by papers. The office is quiet because it is earlier than most sane people get to work. My co-workers and I are no longer sane due to a crazy workload, however, so we begin our day early. All is peaceful. The computers are thrumming and everyone is engrossed in their to-do piles.

SMASH. CRASH. BANG.

Co-worker: KRISTA. What are you breaking?!

Me: *calmly* Nothing. I just stapled my fingernail, that’s all.

Co-worker: What?!

Me: That’s why I threw the stapler.

Co-worker: *pause* The staple isn’t stuck in your finger still, is it?

And that is why there is a nice puncture hole in my right index fingernail now. Kids, don’t try this one on for size. It hurts and yes, punching a hole through fingernail does tend to result in bleeding.

Still, it does make for an interesting conversation piece.

Friend: “So. How was your day?”

Me: “Not bad. I stapled my fingernail today…”

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